144

Wow. 144 posts. That's a lot, especially for me, a writer who struggles with major writer's block.

I'm really very sad to see this blog go. I've had such a fun time writing it. Alas, it has to be done to preserve some one's feelings. I can't censor myself, so it's just better this way. And, I really do think I was outgrowing the crazy obsessive weight loss writing as well. I would love to write about whatever I want, and not have to have it be a theme.

While I'm not too happy about this blog ending, I am happy with the idea of a new one starting - a fresh start for me! I actually journaled for almost all of my lunch today, and it felt pretty good. I want my new blog to be more like that - more me. I even want to get back into writing poetry, which I haven't really done in a couple of years.

So, to anyone out there who is reading this, thanks. I appreciate you taking the time to read my writing. And, if you want to know where I'm going, let me know. I'll keep you updated!

The End Is Near

So, folks, this blog is nearing it's end. Tomorrow will be the last blog of "Following Weight" - forever. It has become part of a very negative situation for me, and it needs to end.

Not only the negative situation, but I think my life has evolved. I'm no longer all about the weight loss. I'm about life, and love, and experiences. I'm not just a number on a scale, I'm a person. Yes, my life is still a lot about weight, but it's about so much more.

Basically, here's the deal. I'm not going to delete my blog. It's been too much of a part of me for too long. But, if you want to be a part of the new blog, and to know what it is, and where I've gone, please leave a comment on today or tomorrow's blog. If you're out there, and not AT or KB (you will get an email with the updates ladies!) please let me know. If my blog means something to you, let me know. I want to still share my words.

I'm really sad about having to end this way, but it's for the best for me. After some good advice from KB, I feel pretty amazing about it. Like a weight has been lifted, a weight that should have been taken care of a while ago.

So, let me know. I want to hear from you. I'll keep checking the comments for a while, just in case.

Thanks blogger - I'm going to miss you.

Sunday Goals

So, this is a picture from our vacation this summer. We went through Well's Gray Park at a mad pace, and stopped at 4 waterfalls and here, the place called the "Mush Bowl." Now, I don't find this to be the most flattering picture ever, but, it is who I am right now, belly and all.

So, you've been waiting to hear about my newest plan, and I promise, you will find out by the end of this blog.

I think I need to do some reflection this week. I've had some hard times come at me, and I haven't dealt with them too well. John and I had some problems, I had a bitch call me down and take away a huge amount of my self confidence. And what did I do? Eat. Shouldn't I have gone and run? Yes, is the correct answer. But no. I fell back into old routines.

I think the fact that John and I have come out of these problems stronger is the key to our relationship. This wasn't a minor issue, this was a trust issue, and that's one of the biggest in a relationship. But, we've worked it out and are stronger for it. It just makes me so happy that I found a man who loves me enough to support me and what I feel.

And, the bitch of s friend. I really don't think she's that bad of a person. My last impression of her will always be that of a bitch because of how she treated me. Obviously, our ideas of being friends are different. She thinks it acceptable to maliciously hurt someone, or to attack them and insult them when the first person says something she doesn't like. Like, once, I made a comment about her husband, totally innocently, and she took it the wrong way and before asking me what I meant, she attacked John and I. Not so much what I good friend would do. But, our problems may have been just that we were not compatable. I don't want a friend to know absolutely every thought in my mind, or to give me constant advice. If I want advice, I will ask for it. And, I am not an advice giver, since I don't like getting it, why would I give it? There were so many signs that I ignored about our relationship that I shouldn't have. It could have ended a whole lot better. I still feel bad for taking her away from John, but I'm really not comfortable with him being that close to another woman. That's what I'm around for. If you need someone to talk to, shouldn't it be your wife? I think so. I mean, it's not as if I bitch and complain and tell all of my inner relationship issues with another guy. I think if the roles were reversed, John would have understood a lot sooner.

So, back to the eating issue. I'm clearly having some issues. I stepped onto the scale this morning and weighed 190.5 pounds, which is less than last week. A pound and a half less. I guess I should take that as a good thing, since my goal is to lose 20 pounds by the end of the year, and that's less than a pound and a half a week. But, it's driving me nuts. I've been weighing every single day, and seeing the scale go up and down is drving me crazy. It's stressing me out, and that's not good. The pain in my knees isn't making it any easier. I've been having some huge problems with them. It sure makes working out hard to do. I haven't run since before we went on vacation.

So, the new plan? I'm going to weigh September 1, then not again until October 1. I've realized how badly the scale has been stressing me out, so I'm going to take it away for a month. I know that may seem silly. I mean, how am I going to know if I'm losing or gaining? Well, I'm not. I want to weight 185 pounds on October 1, but I think, if I just eat right, work out at least 5 days a week, walk after dinner every night, and NOT stress out about it, I can do that, and more. I'm going to do my measurements again September 1 (or the night before) and just go by that. Measure every week, and see if there is any improvement. I'm putting too much stock in the scale, and I need it to go away! If I can make it down to 185 pounds in that month, I only have 15 pounds to lose in 3 months - 5 pounds a month! I think I can do that! I just need to get the eating and knees under control.

Speaking of knees, I'm starting a vitamin regimine tomorrow. I've been taking Super Apple Cidar Vinegar pills every morning (the help you stop retaining water) but I'm going to add in Glucosamine & Chondroitin and Clacuim Magnesium with Vitamin D. I have to try something to get my knees back into shape. It's getting pathetic. I've been laying in bed a lot because it hurts so badly. I can't do much around the house most days, and it's frustrating. Even doing aquafit was hard on my knees. I think maybe going to the pool and just doing cardio (jogging on the spot, walking across the pool, etc) might be good for me. We'll see though. I need to figure something out. I'll try this out for a bit, and if it's not working, I guess I'll have to go see a specialist. It's tough.

So, that's it today folks. I think I should get dressed and go for a quick walk. Just something to get my heart rate going for a bit, then relax my knees. Maybe a bath. That would be nice! Hope your weekend was great, and that your weather was better than our rainy fall shit. Have a good one!

Saturday Recipe

Well,  summer's almost over, but here's a great recipe for summer. I think it sounds fantastic.

I finally got the chance to relax today, and it still feels like I could use some more down time. It really sucks. My knees are still sore, though not as sore as before.

Hope you all had a great day. Stay tuned for my newest plan in tomorrow's blog!

Friday Friday

What a week! I can't believe how exhausting it's been for me! And painful. I'm especially not happy with the pain part. My arms have been hurting, but tendinitis and a computer job will do that. It's my knees that have been bugging me the most. My left knee is horrible! Just an ache, constantly. And not a dull ache, an in-your-face ache. Not so much fun.

And the scale and I have not been friends all week. I've been hovering at 191 pounds and 191.5 pounds all week. And, of course, I'm frustrated, and when I'm frustrated, I eat badly. I'm working on a strategy for it, which I will let you in on in Sunday's blog. September is going to be a good month for me. I can feel it (somehow through the pain, I can feel it).

We've also been talking about moving a lot lately. Not like moving to town, like moving out of town. Going North. Possibly. And, I'm willing to go for John's job, but it's still freaking me out. It's only a possibility that's being thrown out there, but it might be something good to consider. Great for him, and a change of pace for me. Might be just what's needed. I mean, I've been here over 3 years. I only lived in Kamloops for 20 months! I didn't even make it 2 full years there before I was bored. I would have left about 4 months earlier, but I was already enrolled at TRU for the spring semester! Maybe a change is in order for us! We'll see though! But, of course, it is a bit stressful for me. The anxiety hasn't set in yet, but I'm sure it will.

Ok, time to go and cuddle up with my honey and watch "Hot Tub Time Machine" - have a good night all!

The No Gym Workout

I don't know about you, but I really hate the gym. Hate it. I find it to be so boring, and I lose interest really quickly. If I'm on a treadmill, I don't care how far I've gone because I can't visualize it. I know when I run at home here, I'm running a mile. I can see that from beginning to end, it's a mile. On a treadmill, the numbers don't add up as well. So, if you're like me, check out this article. I think it's pretty good!

Today was super busy at work. My customers were pretty quiet, but I think I was the only one. But, that meant holding down the fort while other people got stuff done. I mean, I did a lot of orders today, but I didn't get the chance to pick a single one. We left the boss with a mass amount to pick, but when I asked if he wanted me to stay he said no, so it's his own problem!

I think I should go and clean up our room a bit. I have a load of laundry that needs to be folded. Oh the joys of being a wife. I wish sometimes that I could be the husband, and not care if things looked nice. Oh well. Yet another curse of being a woman.

Hope you all had a great day! Talk to you again tomorrow!

Aqua Fit

What a great class tonight! I had a lot of fun at aqua fit with my mom and CH. It was great to inadvertently find a new workout buddy in CH. Now I have someone to keep me in line when Mom works late!

Though, I came home, and the boys hadn't done dishes. That kind of ruined my buzz. It took me about 6 minutes to do them too, which pisses me off. I guess I should just get used to it, and do them. I thought that maybe I wouldn't have to, but oh well. Such is the life of a woman.

Good luck to KB! I'm so excited about the prospect of the new job! You're going to knock them dead at the interview!

Have a good night all!

Traumatic Tuesday

JUST KIDDING! Today was a pretty good day. Work was lame as always, but at least busy for most of the day. I had a bad morning. I weighed, and with all the walking yesterday, and eating well, I only lost half a pound. I was distraught. Then, sometime during the day, I realized that half a pound in a day is a good thing! What a silly ass I was being! I think that's great! Half a pound is pretty awesome indeed.

Nothing huge happening with me. Mom and I walked our 8 kilometers, and tomorrow we're going to try aquafit. Fun!

Have a good night all!

Roommate

Ugh, I'm 24 years old, and I now have a roommate. Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, it's just weird. He seems nice enough, so we'll see how it goes. I might just be working out A LOT. But, he just thanked me for dinner, and he did put his plate by the sink, so it might not be too bad!

I thought a lot about KB today. Not entirely sure why, but it felt pretty good. It's nice to think of someone who you know is a true friend. I mean, we have had our ups and downs, but still, she is one of my best friends. I don't think I could trade it for anything. KB, if you read this at a decent time (remember I'm an hour behind you), give me a call.

I went for a walk after work with CH. I wasn't going to do anything right after work, but then she asked if I wanted to go for a walk with her and her dog. It was good. That girl is a MACHINE. She walks as fast as John, if not faster! It's nuts! But the walk was good. I'd like to go again when I have more time to enjoy it, and not have to watch my feet so that I don't fall on my ass.

I'm really glad that I went. It's going to get me back into the routine I need to be in. Tomorrow I'm going to do something with Mom. Not sure what yet, but something. It looks like we're going to have to wait until Saturday to do aquafit, so we'll probably just walk. I think it'll be her day to do the 8K. That's ok with me. My feet will kill, but oh well.

So, finally, maybe a picture to end today. Something from my vacation. Have a good night!

The beautiful town of Golden, from the lookout at Mount 7

Sunday Goals

It's been a long time since I've put any goals down here! Seems like forever ago. I had to go back on my blog and see where I last was!

This morning I weighed 192 pounds. That's a pound and a half less than last Monday. Not too bad. I was down to 190 pounds on Thursday, but then I pigged out and gained back 2 pounds. Oh well. Shit happens.

So, I'm going to go with my goals for the year. I think I need to say them over and over and over again, and maybe if I keep repeating them, I'll keep my focus.

My goal weight is 145 pounds. The goal date is my birthday next year, June 9th. By the end of this year, I want to weigh 170 pounds. That way I only have 25 pounds to lose in 6 months. Looking at it now, it seems like a lofty goal, but I think I can make it. I want to run the Sun Run within 15 minutes of an hour.

Right now, I have 22 pounds to lose by the end of the year. If I can get my eating back under control, and keep working out with my mom, I should be able to do it. Mom is a slave to working out now, so I just have to stick with her, and I should be ok.

Mom and I walked 8K this morning. It actually felt pretty good. Then we had breakfast and walked to WalMart. Not too shabby. I could actually go for another walk right now. But, I probably won't. I'm in Christmas planning mode. I have to get ideas together, so that I can buy stuff as I see it. Yep, I'm one of those.

Now, off to cook dinner. Hope you all had a great day! Sundays are definitely my favourite!

Saturday Recipe! It's Back!

Saturday recipe is back! I hadn't done it ahead before we went on vacation, so I just had to leave it out. But here it is, back again! This one is awesome. My grandma had a little booklet on her counter and while I was there, I was looking through it and found this one. SMART Berry Muffins. Something different to try anyways!

Well, it's the weekend, and I'm on call. I have to go in at 8 and pull some taps out of freight. I'm going to have to dig through about a million boxes to find them, I bet. Oh well. I'm supposed to work out with mom this morning, but since I have to go into work, we'll have to do it a bit later. I'm trying really hard to get my motivation up again, but it's so hard. I think all the BS that has gone on in my life lately had taken my self-worth down a bit. It's like I think I'm not worth it, like I don't deserve to lose weight. I know it's not true, but I think you know how my neurosis works. I think that's why my motivation has been lacking lately. But, I think something is going to be changing around the house to make me more motivated to get out. We're getting a roommate for a couple of months. Actually, the guy wants to stay with us for a year, but I'm not sure that's going to work for me. We're kind of doing it as a trial-basis. It's a guy that John went to school with (well, his brother did, so that makes him my age) who is married, and is just up here working 10 days on and 4 days off. Having another person in the house is going to be different. But, you can;t argue too much with an extra $500 a month when you're in debt like John and I are. We'll see how it goes. If I don't like having him around, he's gone. Plain and simple. The money isn't worth it if I'm unhappy and don't want to be home ever.

AB had her last day of work yesterday. As much as I bitch about her, I'm going to miss her very much. She's gotten back together with the guy she was engaged to last year (that she broke it off with because he was a loser) which makes me scared, especially since they're moving away. She quit a really good job for him, and I'm still not sure if it was a good idea. I hope that it works out, and that he's really changed, not just enough to get her back. I'm hoping hard for them. I want it to work. I hate seeing relationships end, especially when there's a kid involved. It's not his kid, technically, but he might as well be. And the little guy doesn't deserve to go through that shit.

Ok, I guess I should go and have a shower, and get ready to go for a workout with momma. She's doing so well (10 pounds in the last 3-4 weeks! Go Momma!) and I really hope she can keep it up. She's almost caught me with weight. We're within about 5 pounds of each other right now. It's pretty great! Our weight loss goals are super close; she wants to be 150 pounds by May, I want to be 145 pounds by my birthday. Both are pretty attainable, so I hope we can keep each other going. Next week should be a better week for me. Then I can get back to running!

Have a good day!

Friday Night

You know, I had an awesome plan of writing a nice, long blog tonight, but John and I decided to watch "When In Rome" instead, and I'm tired now.

Night all!

Maternity Leave

Did you know that in the USA you only get 6 weeks of paid maternity leave? How freaking stupid is that? Here we are up in Canada, with a full year, and we think that's not good enough (ok, well, I don't think it's good enough!). I have a friend that just had a baby, and is already talking about going back to work. Who the heck wants their 6 week old baby in daycare? And who would do daycare for a baby that small? Don't they still breast feed then? Yes, they do! How dumb! Thank goodness I live in Canada!

Anyway, that was my rant for the day. I just think it's dumb. Just like my knees. I'm so sore. Like, so sore that I don't want to get off of the couch. So bad. I'm hoping it's just as simple as I'm not used to being on my feet 8 hours a day. We'll see what happens next week. If it's this bad next week, I'll go to the doctor. The worst part is that I want to eat and eat and eat because I'm depressed that I can't get out and work out. Boo. Oh well. There's absolutely nothing bad that I want to eat in the house, and John won't let me go back to town!

Maybe time for some more couch time! Have a good night everyone, and send my knees some healing thoughts! They need it!

Peaches, Peaches, and More Peaches

I'm so exhausted. We canned peaches today, and I still have a bunch left to do. I'm going to make some jam tomorrow. Fun fun. And, I burned 3 of my fingers making dinner. It's been a freaking awesome day. I'm going to go and watch BB now, and hopefully tomorrow I'll have more energy and want to blog more. I'm such a lamo today!

Internet :(

Our internet is down. And my phone is just about dead. Fun.

More tomorrow!
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Tomatoes

Yes, today's blog is entitled "tomatoes" - and yes, I know how random that seems. But, really, it's not. I just canned my first tomatoes. Well, they're still in the caner, but the lids are on and they're boiling! Mom came out to help, and will be for the next few nights because we still have 60 pounds to go, plus 35 of peaches. Am I crazy? The answer is yes. But, nothing beats home canning!

Mom and I also walked 8K today. Yep, 8K. After not doing anything for quite a while, it was strange. And, all after being on my feet for 8 hours straight. Lots of 8's involved today. But tomorrow Mom has to work late, so I'm going to go for a run, come home, and get canning again. Hopefully I'll have most of the tomatoes done so that we can get them all into jars and into the caner ok.

I can't remember if I weighed 187 pounds before we left, or 188 pounds, but I weighed this morning, and I was at 193.5 pounds. Either way, about 6 pounds gained on vacation. I pretty much expected that though. Time to get back into it. Mom is super motivated right now, so I'm just going to take advantage of that and go with it. Those 6 pounds should come off in no time, right? RIGHT.

Time to get back to canning. I have to switch out another batch in a few minutes! Have a good night! Did you all say something good about yourself today?? I did!

End Of Vacation

So, it's finally come to an end. I'm back home, and have very few minutes of vacation left. I have to say, it was a very good vacation, but it was much too busy. I did it to myself, but it's so difficult when you only get to go on one large vacation a year, and have so many people and places that you want to visit. Going to see both of our families was our downfall. I know we have to try to see everyone, but it's so hard to do it in such a short time. I think we put on over 5000 kilometers in a week and a half. It's just nuts. I actually wish we had written down what our odometer said before we left. I know that I got an oil change the week we left, and we already need another one. Craziness. I will write more tomorrow when I'm not so bagged. Hopefully anyways. We have 80 pounds of tomatoes to deal with tomorrow night, and my mom assures me it shouldn't take long. I really hope it doesn't! I'm off to soak my feet. A week and a half in sandals has done a number on my heels. Ugh. Oh well. Have a good night all!

Vacation Day 10

Well, we left Golden today. So sad. I wish we could have stayed forever, but I said that about Kamloops too. I think I just wish I could stay in relaxation mode forever. I'm so not looking forward to going back to work. Oh well. We got to meet our new niece today. What a sweetie. So much hair! Hopefully we'll get to Hinton tonight, then home tomorrow. I can't wait to be home, even if that means going back to work. Have a good night all!
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Vacation Day 9

Well, not a big day today, but a good one anyways. Went up to the launch at Mount 7, KHMR, and visited friends and family. Got to see AT, so that was extra nice! I'm getting rather nostalgic, and am really not looking forward to leaving tomorrow. This always happens here. I fall back in love with Golden every time we're here. Oh well. Work must happen! Have a good night one and all.
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Vacation Day 8

What a day today was! We spent most of it with my nieces. We went to the beach, thinking it would be a nice day, and then it rained and stormed. My oldest niece convinced John to swim, despite the horrible weather. My youngest niece, ND and I sat on the beach and watched. It would have been a much better day had the weather cooperated, but it was good nonetheless.

Then, about 10 minutes ago, a bat was in the house. You should have seen me and Gramma freak out. Like little babies. John and Grampa had to shoo it out! What an ordeal.

And, I pinched the top of one of my toes in a drawer, so it kills. Messed up. Not even really sure that I can explain how I did it. Oh well. Time for bed. Hopefully it doesn't hurt in the morning!
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Vacation Day 7

I remembered today! It's the first bit of real relaxation this whole time. No big plans tonight, other than meeting KB on her way through Golden. It feels fantastic. Mere hours at my grandparents house, and everything is better. I feel so at ease, and there's no pressure to do anything but watch Big Brother. So wonderful. Even though I feel kind of bad, I don't even have to worry about doing laundry! Gramma's doing it for me. So weird. John even helped Grampa with dishes. What a wonderful thing. I told him that he should keep it up once we get home! I'm so excited that maybe he'll get used to helping around the house. A girl can hope!

Today I saw my cousin, ND, and it was so nice to visit! She definitely complimented my weight loss, which makes me feel good. I've been eating so badly lately. I hope I haven't gained too much when I get back. But I just can't stop it! Ugh!

Back to Big Brother. I love TV drama. Actually, I love drama, as long as I'm not personally involved.

Have a good night all!
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Vacation Day 6

I forgot again! Except that when I remembered, I was out of cell range. Monday night it rained and rained on us camping in Kelowna. Good news is that John's brother and his wife had their baby - another girl to love! That gives us 3 neices! Very exciting! Yesterday was a pretty relaxed day for us. Wandered around Kelowna in the morning, and slowly made our way to the B&B that we stayed at last night. I can't wait to be able to share photos from it. Absolutely beautiful! We're on our way to Golden now. So excited! I WILL remember to blog tonight! I WILL remember to blog tonight!
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Vacation Day 5

Busy day again today. Visit with a friend in Vernon who announced that she is 8 weeks pregnant with her second child. Visit with some awesome friends in Kelowna. Now, bed. Maybe a real post tomorrow. I remembered today at least!
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Vacation Day 4

I'm pretty sure that I forgot to blog yesterday. Pretty sure. It was such a busy day. Here's what went down.

We went to Chapel with John's family in the morning. Two and a half hours of singing and dancing and preaching. It wasn't all bad. The music is all written by members of the church, so for me it was good as long as I could ignore the lyrics. The sermon, or whatever you want to call it was ok. I only laughed at one point, but the pastor was so loud that even John didn't notice. I was very surprised that they did communion. I always assumed that was a Catholic thing to do and that no one else did it. Overall, it wasn't bad, but I won't be heading off to church every Sunday.

Then we headed out to Stump Lake to visit a friend of mine, CB. It was a nice way to spend an afternoon. Such a beautiful lake, and the weather was awesome.

Then we came home and I pretty much crashed. I haven't worked out in so long that I'm feeling a bit guilty, but whatever. I'm on vacation!!

More later...hopefully I won't forget again!
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Vacation Day 3

So, I almost forgot to blog. What a busy day today was, without being busy at all. We hung out with John's family for most of the day, went to a classic car show, and did some shopping. I had a distressing moment while shopping though. I didn't realize that my boobs had shrunk when I lost weight, and I've lost a cup size. Boo. But, I bought size 31 jeans, so that's good too. AB and I are going to have a pant burning party when I get home to get rid of my old work pants.

Right now we're chilling with CL and a friend of his watching Bad Boys. I really want to sleep, but oh well. Maybe I'll just sleep at Chapel tomorrow with the family.

Have a good one all!
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Vacation Day 2

So, we didn't hike Kinney Lake yesterday. Am I disappointed? Yes and no. Yes, because I really do want to hike there, and no because it gave John and I a chance to relax. We went to Overlander Falls, and Rearguard Falls, and read our books and wandered around the campsite (which is huge) and played cards. I am still the crib master, while John is the Crazy 8s King. Also, our air matress went flat on us in the night. It was really hot when we filled it up, then as it got colder, the mattress got flatter. We didn't sleep extremely well.

Last night I had a dream that John's brother and his wife had their baby, and it was a boy named Graham. She is due any time now, and wouldn't it be weird if that came true? She told me that God came to her in a dream and told her the name of her child. Now, I'm no believer, but wouldn't that be weird??

Today we're going to go to Wells Gray park, and go visit a couple of waterfalls. Then off to Kamloops! We were up so early that we might make it to Kamloops earlier than we thought, which would be nice. I want to find a nice, sunny spot on the beach, and live there for a bit. I miss that nice, dry heat.

Have a good day everyone! I know I'm going to!
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Vacation Day 1

Well, we're just about ready to leave PG to go to Mount Robson. I'm so excited. We had a good visit with John's mom this morning. I'm realizing more and more that I did marry into a pretty damn good family. She completely supports our issues from last week, and the decisions that were made. Feels good coming for another outside source.

But, today is about hiking. Can't wait! I'll try to blog about it tomorrow, but with it being all on my phone, it's hard.

Have a great day all! Say at least 2 positive things to yourself today - you'll feel instantly better!
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Shortie

A quick one tonight! I was going to email this one in at work, but I was too excited about leaving that I forgot.

I can't believe our vacation is finally starting! It's about damn time! We've been working straight since Christmas pretty much, and John has been working way too much (I think). At least something good is coming of his work. There are some good things in the works for him, and maybe the stress will be justified.

But, now it's time to get away from work and stop talking about it! I'm going to make a rule that after we get to PG tonight, no more work!

Hope you all are having a great day! I'm so happy I could scream!!
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The Day Before Vacation

Thank goodness our vacation starts tomorrow. Today was a super busy day today, and I know John had a really busy one too. He's still working, so it's up to me to get all of the rest of our stuff ready for vacation. Which is fine. It's easier if one of us does it anyways. We always seem to get in each other's way otherwise. I have the last load of laundry in the dryer, and dishes soaking in the sink. I'm inches away from done. I don't think we'll get in to PG tomorrow night at a decent time though. But oh well.

I just watched "19 Kids & Counting." I love that show. I don't care what you think, I love it. I think that they are a really cool family. They always have something going on, and all the kids seem so well behaved. I keep waiting to hear stuff in the tabloids about one of them rebelling really hard, but it hasn't happened yet!

I should get back to getting ready. I'm thinking a bath tonight would feel good. Maybe I can sneak one in before John gets home!

Like I said yesterday, I will still blog every day while I'm gone, but the posts might not be long, and they will come at all different times of day, depending on what we're doing.

I'm really glad my parents are going to be around to look after my house and kitties while we're gone. Poor kitties are going to think we abandoned them again. Oh well. They're cats after all, they'll get over it!

Talk to you all soon!

Long Weekends

Who doesn't love long weekends? Especially when you don't have to work. And when your vacation starts on Wednesday after work. That's right people, I only have to work 2 days this week! Whoo hoo! Then it's off on a hiking adventure! We're basically packed and ready to go. Tomorrow night will be busy, getting the last bit of laundry and stuff done, but we're pretty set. The camping gear is already in the truck, and our dry food is ready to go. Almost time!

So, having said that, the blog will still be posted every day, but it's mainly going to be from my cell phone, so it will be short. I'll still keep you up to date on my struggles and triumphs on the road!

Hope you all enjoyed your long weekend, even if you had to work!

Sunday Goals

Well, after this crazy week, I still lost weight. I'm currently at 187 pounds. I didn't think I'd be able to lose anything with all the stress that this week brought me, and maybe I would have been able to lose a few more pounds, but I'll take the 1 pound loss. Better than 1 pound gained.

I've been thinking a lot about my goals lately. I'm having an incredibly hard time keeping motivated. I only ran once this week, with Uncle B. I walked one morning with John, and walked once with Mom and did her workout once. I'm just having a really hard time. I'm realizing more now that I want and need John to be there with me, to help me out. Not every single day, because he works so hard for us, that sometimes he just can't find the energy, but I think we do need to have a sit down either while we're on vacation, or after, about working out together a few nights or mornings a week. For the both of us.

Since this week was so rough for me, my eating habits went down the tubes. My first real stress test and I failed, miserably. All I did was eat this week. Amazing how I lost a pound still. Not quite sure how it happened. I ate things I haven't thought about in months. Chips and dip, chocolate bars, you name it, I wanted it and had it. Not the best week for my body ever. Though, that's what it was like before. All that I did this past week was a regular week for me before.

But, it's time to move on from it. John and I have made it through our first real issue, and it feels good now. I still have some lingering after effects from it all, but that's just how I am. I'm going to think about it for a long time, just like the huge mess I had with CR back in the day. I still think about it sometimes, though now I can laugh about it, instead of cry. I'm going to try really hard in the next 2 weeks to get through this so it's not a constant thought it my head, because it's driving me mental. I feel guilt for something I didn't really even do, so it's tough. It's just how I am. I will make it through, just have to deal with it.

As for my weight goals, they have been changing. I went on JM's site this morning, and updated my gaols. I had set my goal to be 150 pounds, which, at that point, I thought was almost unattainable. Now that I've lost 23 pounds, I don't see it as so unattainable anymore. As per JM's site, my goal weight should be between 130-145 pounds. Now I'm definitely thinking that could happen. It's going to be tons and tons of work to get there, but I think I can make it. To get to the top end of that goal, I have 42 pounds to lose. If I lose 2 pounds a week for the rest of the year, I can make that goal. Now, I know, that's a pretty lofty goal, because losing 2 pounds a week is fine, until you hit a plateau. I'm prepared for those, but I know I can make it through those things. If I don't lose 2 pounds one week, I'll work harder the next to see if I can lose 2. I'm not setting myself up a goal to fail. I'm not going to set a firm time limit on losing anything. I'm going to try to lose 2 pounds each week, and that is my only real goal. I think it's better than saying "I need to lose XX pounds by XXXXXX." For me, all that does is stress me out, and I can't do it. I think that 2 pounds a week is a great goal.

According to JM's website, I have 13 pounds to lose until I am in the "overweight" category. That's not too bad. 174 pounds, and I'm back into the overweight side, instead of grossly obese. Now, I know, I've never felt like I should be in the obese category, because, in comparison to a lot of people, I'm not anywhere near obese. But, just being able to look at one of those charts, and not cringe? That's going to be great. And, I'm just thinking, like, since I've lost 23 pounds, I've gone down 2 pants sizes. I can fit into 11's again, which means I'm only a size away from the 9's that I have stuffed in the back of the closet from Kamloops. I think that this next pant size will take a lot more work to come off, but I know I can. The attitude change I've undergone is amazing.

Last night, I had a glass of wine, breaking my not drinking goal. It felt so good though! And really, one glass of wine isn't going to kill me. It was hot out, and it felt right. And it was sooo yummy! Now, that doesn't mean I'm going to start drinking all the time, but maybe it can be my Saturday night, end of the week, happy night with John drink. One drink. That's all...Until Convention, that is.

So, my goals for the week: eat better (which shouldn't take much, in comparison to this week), run at least 3 times, and drink lots and lots of water!

Have you made any goals for the week that you'd like to share? I love feedback!