So, this is a picture from our vacation this summer. We went through Well's Gray Park at a mad pace, and stopped at 4 waterfalls and here, the place called the "Mush Bowl." Now, I don't find this to be the most flattering picture ever, but, it is who I am right now, belly and all.
So, you've been waiting to hear about my newest plan, and I promise, you will find out by the end of this blog.
I think I need to do some reflection this week. I've had some hard times come at me, and I haven't dealt with them too well. John and I had some problems, I had a bitch call me down and take away a huge amount of my self confidence. And what did I do? Eat. Shouldn't I have gone and run? Yes, is the correct answer. But no. I fell back into old routines.
I think the fact that John and I have come out of these problems stronger is the key to our relationship. This wasn't a minor issue, this was a trust issue, and that's one of the biggest in a relationship. But, we've worked it out and are stronger for it. It just makes me so happy that I found a man who loves me enough to support me and what I feel.
And, the bitch of s friend. I really don't think she's that bad of a person. My last impression of her will always be that of a bitch because of how she treated me. Obviously, our ideas of being friends are different. She thinks it acceptable to maliciously hurt someone, or to attack them and insult them when the first person says something she doesn't like. Like, once, I made a comment about her husband, totally innocently, and she took it the wrong way and before asking me what I meant, she attacked John and I. Not so much what I good friend would do. But, our problems may have been just that we were not compatable. I don't want a friend to know absolutely every thought in my mind, or to give me constant advice. If I want advice, I will ask for it. And, I am not an advice giver, since I don't like getting it, why would I give it? There were so many signs that I ignored about our relationship that I shouldn't have. It could have ended a whole lot better. I still feel bad for taking her away from John, but I'm really not comfortable with him being that close to another woman. That's what I'm around for. If you need someone to talk to, shouldn't it be your wife? I think so. I mean, it's not as if I bitch and complain and tell all of my inner relationship issues with another guy. I think if the roles were reversed, John would have understood a lot sooner.
So, back to the eating issue. I'm clearly having some issues. I stepped onto the scale this morning and weighed 190.5 pounds, which is less than last week. A pound and a half less. I guess I should take that as a good thing, since my goal is to lose 20 pounds by the end of the year, and that's less than a pound and a half a week. But, it's driving me nuts. I've been weighing every single day, and seeing the scale go up and down is drving me crazy. It's stressing me out, and that's not good. The pain in my knees isn't making it any easier. I've been having some huge problems with them. It sure makes working out hard to do. I haven't run since before we went on vacation.
So, the new plan? I'm going to weigh September 1, then not again until October 1. I've realized how badly the scale has been stressing me out, so I'm going to take it away for a month. I know that may seem silly. I mean, how am I going to know if I'm losing or gaining? Well, I'm not. I want to weight 185 pounds on October 1, but I think, if I just eat right, work out at least 5 days a week, walk after dinner every night, and NOT stress out about it, I can do that, and more. I'm going to do my measurements again September 1 (or the night before) and just go by that. Measure every week, and see if there is any improvement. I'm putting too much stock in the scale, and I need it to go away! If I can make it down to 185 pounds in that month, I only have 15 pounds to lose in 3 months - 5 pounds a month! I think I can do that! I just need to get the eating and knees under control.
Speaking of knees, I'm starting a vitamin regimine tomorrow. I've been taking Super Apple Cidar Vinegar pills every morning (the help you stop retaining water) but I'm going to add in Glucosamine & Chondroitin and Clacuim Magnesium with Vitamin D. I have to try something to get my knees back into shape. It's getting pathetic. I've been laying in bed a lot because it hurts so badly. I can't do much around the house most days, and it's frustrating. Even doing aquafit was hard on my knees. I think maybe going to the pool and just doing cardio (jogging on the spot, walking across the pool, etc) might be good for me. We'll see though. I need to figure something out. I'll try this out for a bit, and if it's not working, I guess I'll have to go see a specialist. It's tough.
So, that's it today folks. I think I should get dressed and go for a quick walk. Just something to get my heart rate going for a bit, then relax my knees. Maybe a bath. That would be nice! Hope your weekend was great, and that your weather was better than our rainy fall shit. Have a good one!
